Partner dancing is a practice of boundaries and connection
When a partner leads you in dancing, can you let go of the draw to anticipate what they want? But instead, wait to actually be led with physics. It feels much gooier that way.
Then you start to travel with physics. You’ve been led to shift your weight and you shift it.
You allow yourself to move through it, until you land in the new weight shift. Now you’re available to move again.
Don’t rush the landing. A queen doesn’t rush her foot landing down at every step.
Allowing the body to be heavy, gooey, as slow as true physics lets my partner locate me in space. This is how he feels me.
When he guides me in a new direction, there are natural moments of lag; an authentic moment of tension as my muscles begin to contract.
The muscles rev up. The feeling of pull without movement, but just potential energy building for a gooey moment. That’s where the connection lies. This is a delicious moment.
My friend Dara, who had been visiting for a week from out of town, came with me to the partner dance on Saturday night.
When we arrived back home, we stood in the kitchen; the lights dim. I walked to get a glass of water, but I was acutely aware that she was standing in the kitchen with me. I caught myself rushing my steps in front of her, like I was apologizing for it taking so long. It felt like a familiar habit.
I reminded myself that it takes as long as it takes to get a glass of water. Can I allow myself the luxury of landing on every step?
The weight of my foot fell on dark grey tile. I let it sink down before I took the next one. I allowed my back to turn away fully from my friend, as I reached for my glass.
Instead of gripping, to not let the connection go away, I could trust the space.
A few minutes later, I realized I needed something from upstairs, and I didn’t run to get it. I felt almost naughty as I luxuriated in my steps up my stairs, into my room, and back down.
I wasn’t straining the connection. I was with my friend, a person who believes in letting our bodies land. This is what I want sharing space to be like.